Hi Reader,
​

It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote to you, how have you been?

What News?

About a month or so ago, I managed to have a road accident and total our Toyota (am I am enjoying the alliteration there? 100%).
It was entirely my fault, and thank God everyone was fine - although sadly neither my car, nor the car of the woman I inadvertently tried to ram off the roundabout, survived. Honestly, I'm a really excellent driver!

But it got me thinking about how we are all vulnerable to making mistakes, and that while sometimes the fall-out can be catastrophic, we are not machines and will therefore always be fallible. However, whether the results of our mistakes are big or small, many of us can find ourselves playing the shame-tapes over and over, beating ourselves up and struggling to get past the failure due to being mired in a sense of being a failure. And this is not healthy.

Mistakes are just that - Mis-Takes.
They are not a gigantic vote against our suitability or value as people.

You do something, it doesn't go right, you have another go. That's it!​
Mistakes help us learn what works and what doesn't, and so often they can end up being the gateways to serendipity - providing an opportunity to discover something previously unknown. In rehearsals, I cannot discover the character I am playing, really dig in, get to know them and figure out what feelings resonate most with the scene, if I am too afraid of getting it wrong - I won't have any chance of doing them justice. If I am so afraid of singing a bum note that I don't open my mouth, then there won't be a song at all. And when learning new skills, navigating relationships and trying to follow a creative path, mistakes are a given.

We need to feel safe enough to make mistakes if we are going to be able to grow.

And I am noticing that the better I can create that kind of an energy for myself, the better I can extend that safety and confidence to my children and the other people around me. The context always matters, and compassion and empathy never go out of style.

It was a source of surprise and delight to me, that despite the initial adrenaline rush of being in an accident, I didn't actually feel ashamed of the fact that my first accident in nearly 11 years of driving was so dramatic and such a daft error of judgement. I definitely felt wobbly the next day, but aside from that, I was really able to view myself with kindness and compassion - not falling prey to the shame-tapes about 'women drivers' or 'idiotic dangerous people on the road' or even the catastrophising of 'what might have happened - and being a terrible mum'.
It was a good moment to be able to realise that all the deep, internal work I've been doing, has made some progress in moving me forward.

Last week, Pete and I were able to buy two new to us cars for our family and pay the first year's insurance with the money from our payout. We have really needed a second car for some time, and were unsure how much we would be able to sell the Toyota for, due to an irritating fault with the hybrid battery. So actually, this mistake of mine turned out to be truly serendipitous.

What mistakes in your life have actually led to a richer burst of growth or serendipity?
Where are you currently allowing the shame-tapes to hold you captive, and stop you from moving forward?

Quote - Unquote

Recent Podcasts

​040 Finding delight in unexpected places​

​041 Eat, Rest, Sleep ​

​042 No Fixed Outcome?​

​043 You have a voice worth hearing will be out this Thursday

Reading & Listening

​Radical Compassion by Tara Brach - reading this with the book club over at the Living Joyfully Network - so far, really good.

Blessing

May you know that your mistakes are all forgiveable,
that there is always room to grow,
and that no matter how much you beat yourself up,
you are deeply loved by the one who knows you inside and out,
and who holds you with Grace and compassion.

​
God bless,
Cassie x

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